Spooky Thorny: 3 ways to deal with anger
“Anger helped a person to survive at different stages of evolution, but in modern society it is not considered a norm of behavior,” says the psychologist-psychotherapistOlesya Fominykh. - They try to fight emotional aggression in every possible way. However, irritability is not a disease, it does not need to be treated, it requires work.
Find and neutralize
To begin with, it is necessary to determine the cause of the anger and detect the irritating object. Keep a diary and record your emotions throughout the day. And in a free, pacified state, reread it and analyze it. Noticed that you do not have time in the morning to collect the child in the kindergarten, always forget something and rage? Learn to get up 15 minutes earlier, and the problem will disappear. If you are angry at an uncleaned apartment and scattered things, teach yourself to set aside 15–20 minutes every day for cleaning, and after a week there will be cleanliness and order at home.Out of a boss? Change jobs or try to fulfill your duties ideally in order to communicate less with him. Irritability due to lack of money can be compensated by additional work or by replacing the purchase of expensive items with goods of the average price category. Well, if negative emotions cause sad news from the TV, just do not watch it. Read your favorite book. There is always a way out, but sometimes people are lazy and do not want to fix something on their own, but wait for someone to solve their problems.
Extinguish before fire
In fact, the beginning of a flash of anger can be determined at home, before the ringing of broken dishes, and stop. The signs of an impending storm are: your arms and legs start to shake, you feel hot and stuffy, your head is squeezed by an invisible hoop, your face turns red and you sweat. As soon as you feel that the clouds are gathering, take a deep breath a few times. This will help relieve stress and tension in the muscles. If you can go outside, go. Nowhere to run? Imagine a funny picture in your head with an object of irritation and switch the emotion of anger to laughter. This is especially important in disputes with the authorities.So you save your face, do not lose your job and can calmly discuss the controversial situation. If your interlocutor is seriously divided and you are about to begin to respond to him in the same way, imagine yourself in the place of your opponent. Like shouting, cursing, waving your arms, with bulging eyes and a red face. Want to look like this? Hardly. After such a visualization, the hunt to yell in response will immediately disappear.
Take the body by doing
To restrain emotions is not only harmful for oneself, but also for others. Our body remembers a stressful state and subconsciously searches for new similar situations for repetition. Annoyed at work? Throw home all your dissatisfaction on paper after a hard day. The main thing - do not shift the problems to loved ones, complaining to them on the phone for hours. Take some hobby. If you leave the office and run to your favorite dances, the problems will go to another plan. Home they just do not bring. Learn something new from the Internet, books, dating. To get rid of the habit of hiss on others, you need to stop stewing in a cauldron of your own worries and get hung up on them.It is possible, and in some cases even necessary, to resort to physical "reprisal" of bad emotions. Beat the pillow, do a few squats, work out in any kind of sport, only necessarily physical. Let your hands be in business: draw, sculpt dumplings, sort out the buttons. Switch the body and brain to another object in minutes of excitability.
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