How to win?
Usually a person tries to win over other people. This desire is due to the inner desire to like. The objectives of such aspirations can be very diverse. For example, a man may try to win the favor of a girl as a woman of the opposite sex, and vice versa, a lady tries to grab the attention of a young man who is interested in her in order to build relationships with him. If the counterpart is a client, you need to establish a trusting relationship to successfully complete the transaction. Regardless of the reason, there are several techniques, applying which you can like a person.
How to win over a person
The location of a person to himself in psychology is called the establishment of rapport. Rapport - is an adjustment to the interlocutor. It is necessary to adapt both to non-verbal manifestations of behavior, and at the level of verbal communication. Scientists note that people, between whom mutual understanding has arisen, copy the pose and gestures of each other, use the same words in the conversation, therefore, in order to gain a person, you need to perform the actions described below.
On non-verbal level
- The pose should be “open”: arms and legs are not crossed, you can slightly bend in the direction of the interlocutor. However, if at the beginning of the conversation the vis-a-vis sits in a closed pose, copy it and then gradually “open up”. For example, make an explanatory gesture with your hands, and then do not fold them on your chest, but calmly lower them onto your knees.
- If you are separated by a table, it is better to sit not in front of the interlocutor, but on the side of it. In this case, the hands should be visible: at the subconscious level, this will mean the absence of threat and hidden motives.
- The common opinion about the need to look into the eyes should not be taken literally. It is better, after a few seconds of contact with your eyes, to transfer your eyes to your interlocutor’s forehead, nose or lips.
- Smile Of course, your smile should be appropriate. It is natural to smile during the greeting.
- Learn to listen. During a conversation, your expression should express interest, and attention should be focused on what you are told.
At the verbal level
Speaking about verbal communication, you need to consider the type of the representative system of a person. People are divided into 4 types depending on the channel of perception of information:
- those who are accustomed to operating with visual images are called visuals (their basic concepts are connected with vision: I see, I see, bright, colorful, gray, etc.);
- those who are guided by auditory concepts are audial (hear, sound, loud, quiet, etc.);
- those who pay attention to the sensations are called kinestets (I feel tender, rough, bitter);
- and the latter type, discrete or rational, these people are accustomed to rely on the mind (I think less is more, I think, etc.).
Starting a conversation, try to determine what type of person you are talking to, and in explaining your position, use the categories and concepts related to his representative system. For example, rapport is difficult to establish, trying to visualize in the figures any benefits. It is much easier to paint him a picture using the concepts of "see", "excellent prospects" and others.
During communication, it is necessary to remain natural, since any tension prevents the establishment of rapport. Read more about the moments that have to communicate, read our articles:
How to win over a child
Children can hardly be attributed to a separate category of interlocutors.When communicating with them, it is also important to observe all the above rules. However, when talking with a child, consider the following:
- children do not like being “lisped” with them, children for 2-3 years prefer to have a conversation “on equal footing”;
- show special kindness in communication, be interested in the opinion of the baby, listen carefully to it;
- do not use complex concepts, unknown to the child, it is better to clarify once again whether he understands what is at stake.
Having obtained such knowledge, more often apply them in practice, at the same time try to be yourself, and gradually it will become very easy for you to attract others to yourself.
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