How to learn to control yourself?
The ability to control oneself is an indicator of individual maturity. This is the main skill that is required for success. What area of work you wouldn’t choose, if you are not able to keep emotions in check and to go with confidence to the goal, then do not count on success.
Self-control does not mean restricting yourself, impairing or setting the framework. It is the power over your personality, the attainment of power over the problems. It gives a chance to realize your own freedom as you want, and not to be led by weakness and negativity. This ability not to be nervous, not to worry, not to panic. This power does not make anyone unbalance you. It is the ability to behave with dignity in any situation.
The role of self-control
Self-control plays a major role in personal development and in social interaction with other people. Psychologists are sure that there are 3 factors to develop habits and the ability to control oneself:
the first is that a person who is not able to cope with emotions constantly acquires various kinds of diseases.Only those able to resolve conflicts within themselves, who know how to preserve the health of the soul and overcome stress;
the second lies in the fact that without the ability to cope with emotions, you cannot make a true decision. This means that a person who does not know how to control himself creates different barriers of perception, he does not assess the situation soberly;
The third factor is that you can not achieve the desired goals without the ability to force yourself to do what you do not want. Agility is one of the manifestations of self-control.
Of course, each person will find additional reasons for the importance of self-control, but the main one in the quest for improving their own lives. In addition, self-control gives some advantages:
a person who can control himself respects others. In turn, others also have respect for him;
self-control is freedom. A person forgets about limitations;
This is a lot of opportunities. The ability to control emotions develops into the ability to control actions;
self-control is calm and self-confidence.
Components of self-control
Effective self-control includes 3 components: honesty, the ability not to give the illusion of reality,use of facts. It is only possible to control it, and control requires systemicity, and not use it from time to time. It is important to constantly notice and mark your own indicators.
In addition, external control is required. At first it's hard to learn how to control yourself inside. For this reason, you need to control yourself and outside. This is a great safety net. Tell someone you need to finish by a specific date. Then you will have an external controller of your actions.
Manifestations of self-control in life
In life there are such manifestations of self-control:
playing sports. With the help of sports activities, a person observes a certain mode, develops his willpower by doing physical exercises. This increases self-esteem, self-reliance, and therefore, forces us to control ourselves;
material goods. A person who is able to control himself in expenses, according to his financial situation, is distinguished by the ability of self-control;
everyday problems. A person who knows how to quench a quarrel is the owner of self-control;
people who are able to restrain emotions and are always in search of a compromise have the ability to self-control.
How to learn to control yourself
To understand how to learn to control yourself, you need to figure out what is usually the source of negative experiences. In this helps keeping a diary. List all negative emotions in the first column: fear, despair, anger, etc. In the second, write down the situations that cause these feelings. Such a table helps to understand what feelings require control more. In addition, in an additional graph, do an analysis of situations, develop behaviors that help avoid negative emotions.
Every day it is required to describe the situations that have happened, which have led to the manifestation of the negative, their sensations, actions, and to carry out an analysis of the consequences. With each passing day such records will help develop self-control skills.
In addition to analyzing situations and keeping a diary, such tips help develop the ability to control yourself:
start the day with a positive. Smile yourself, praise for something;
Do not show too much zeal in the work. Make a list of tasks for the day. Mark in it the most important tasks and do them right away. If there is too much to do, then analyze how to distribute tasks, what to do on another day.Be sure to take time to rest;
do not rush to conclusions. The first reaction to each event is the emotions that are caused by a personal attitude towards it. First, deal with the causes of the situation, try to find out the facts. The same applies to communication with others. Do not think out, if there are doubts, do not be afraid to ask or clarify. It helps to avoid many quarrels;
if you feel inability to restrain yourself, then come up with the option of discharge from negative emotions. Everyone will find their own way. Arrange a walk, jog, listen to music, go shopping. In each situation, after calming down, it is important to analyze what caused the surge;
Do not leave unresolved problems in relationships with loved ones. Understanding the situation is important in a calm state, listen to your opponent with care. If the conversation does not work out, write a letter. In it state the essence of the problem, your feelings, as well as suggestions regarding the way out of the situation. Ask the culprit of your experiences to read this and write a response letter. Such communication will help to realize how to find a solution and a compromise;
the next time you overcome negative experiences, voice your own state. Find the most accurate definition of your own feelings, speak it. It is not necessary to hear someone, tell yourself about feelings. Do not suppress emotions, it will cause stress, but will not solve the problem.
Self-control is everyday work on a person. Controlling feelings and emotions is the key to success in life.
And a couple of factors to achieve self-control:
accustom yourself to the regime. A person observing a strict daily routine (established independently) develops the ability to control emotions;
a lot depends on education and the situation in the family. If we show children how to restrain themselves, how to learn to avoid conflicts, we will teach them self-control, we will teach ourselves to keep everything in our hands;
learn punctuality in all forms. Keep these promises, bring to the end of the case;
attend psychological trainings, classes and seminars. Such exercises teach you to keep in yourself the impulses and emotions, to master your mind and thoughts.
If you notice that emotions become uncontrollable - you allowed yourself to relax, made a mistake.Those who want to always stay on top need to educate themselves in themselves every day in their will power, to develop faith in themselves.
In order to achieve the fulfillment of plans and goals, you need to do something every day that is planned, even if you don’t want to do anything at all. Do not give yourself a chance to relax.
Scientists and researchers have found out that those people who constantly hold back, do not give themselves a discharge, get all kinds of diseases. The negative energy that is closed inside is collected in the internal organs; it disrupts the processes of metabolism. For this reason, one cannot constantly restrain oneself, but one cannot also observe control over oneself. What to do?
Consider some of the tips of psychologists:
physical activity helps not to collect negatives inside. If you have a chance to stay with yourself, then shout or sing your favorite song. Effectively tames the rush of emotions and neutralizes the anger of pleasant, calm music, a sound sleep. Even in the old days they talked about the need to go to sleep, then the problem will be forgotten. Emotions are eliminated in a dream;
Turn on the fantasy, show creativity.Get your revenge on the enemy, defeat your own fears, prove your point in the imagination, in your thoughts. What the brain has lived through has been experienced to some extent. Virtual travel leaves more positive impressions than real ones;
share feelings with friends. Each experience that is said out loud is described by different phrases, it becomes easier to experience, it decreases;
repay debts Every duty depresses a person on a psychological level, life becomes more complicated. You may not remember them, but the subconscious mind summarizes each and spoils the emotional background. Finally, give the book to your friend, help your grandmother repair the kettle;
Do not give in to emotions while intoxicated. It is important to be able to understand your own state. To beat the plates, dance and scream can only be in a sober state.
Every normal, adequate person who lives in society should be able to control himself. If you want the society to accept you properly, then follow generally accepted standards.
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