12 magic phrases before bedtime for a child with a healing effect
In our difficult times, many things are still inexplicable, and if we are faced with difficulties, we are fully prepared to believe in anything that helps.
Psychologists consider one of the most incredible relationships - mutual communication between mother and child, and life shows that the power of maternal love is capable of doing miracles, challenging one's happiness even in fatal situations.
Olga Valyaeva says:
“When we first started fighting for our eldest son, one psychiatrist — besides all that was very strange and not useful — made a huge gift. He spoke about an experiment that had been conducted somewhere in England (I could be wrong, since all of his words). Mothers of sick children performed a simple ritual every night.
After the child fell asleep, they waited for the active phase of sleep - this is somewhere in about fifteen minutes. And then the simple words were said to the child:
"I love you. I'm proud of you.I am very glad that you are my son. You are the best son for me. ”
The text is about the same - for all the same.
And they compared these children with others - with similar diagnoses, but whose mothers did not whisper anything to them in the night. Kids receiving mother's nightly declarations of love recovered much faster. Here is such a mother magic.
We almost immediately began to implement it. Much easier - unlike most therapies, it's free. At first I said what was supposed to be on the script. Then she began to improvise. Five years have passed, and I still whisper different words to my boys. Each of them and almost every night.
It's hard for me to talk about concrete results, but Danny already has no autism. And I'm sure that my whispers have played their part. But still there is something that this gives me and the children. It is important to understand - magic works in both directions! Get a very important thing, and mom and baby. Everyone has their own “Something Important”.
What does this give?
♥Feeling proximity from by each of children.
It is an incomparable sensation. No matter how old they are, at the time of sleep they look like little angels. In the daytime, it’s not so easy to hug or hold them in your arms - they have so much to do! And at night I hug each of them, talking about what is important for both of us.And I feel how our closeness grows and grows stronger.
♥ Individual time for each.
In the flow of days, I can not always give everyone a personal time. Most often we are all together as a team. We play, communicate, eat - all together. But at this moment each one is special. Because I tell everyone different words. Based on the fact that now you want and you need to tell this child.
♥ I I can to tell something importantbut that day may not be heard.
There are different days. Sometimes kids may not behave very well from the abundance of information or sweets, and this complicates our communication. But when I whisper in my ear at night about how I love them, all this remains in the past. Quarrels, misunderstandings, offenses ..
♥ Child feels love.
Once I read about the fact that a child is more likely to say a phrase of this kind: "And you know that if you could choose, then from all the children of the world we would choose you." When I first said this to Matthew, he was delighted and surprised at the same time. He went and repeated: “What, is it true for me ???”.
So I realized that it is very important for children to feel that they are special, that they are important and necessary, just the way they are.
Now this phrase, along with “Did I say to you today that I love you?” Firmly settled in our life. Moreover, Matvey - as long as he is the most talkative - in response always says that he would choose us as parents and necessarily choose his brothers.
♥ I constantly I speak important phrases.
There is such a thing as "resolving phrases" in phraseological therapy, the phrases that we speak during the arrangement, and they change the attitude of people, they treat their souls. Words are usually simple - about love, acceptance, regret
So I discovered that if important phrases are spoken to my children at night, then many problems are solved by themselves. For example, with family hierarchy. What phrases are and what usually I say:
♥ "I your Mama, a you my a son".
This phrase helps if you do not feel a connection with a child, namely a spiritual connection. And also if you have a broken hierarchy - and it is not clear who is whose mother.
♥ "I a big, a you little".
This phrase is again about hierarchy. And besides, it helps to grow up in relationships with children. Children relax very much when the mother becomes an adult, finally.
♥ "You most best a son for me".
Here you can add another sequence of the child.After all, I, for example, have not one son - but as many as three. And each of them is good in its place.
♥ "You exactly that a son, which the need us".
This helps the child to feel their value, their "goodness". I especially recommend the phrase to those who constantly compare their child with others - not in his favor.
♥ "You not necessary nothing for me do, I I love you behindthat, what you there is".
Many will be indignant. But the phrase is not that you can not wash the dishes. But rather that, for my sake, you should not carry the generic speakers.
♥ "I highly glad, what you there is".
Especially helps those for whom the child was not very desirable.
♥ "I glad, what you boy".
If you, for example, wanted a girl and could not take the sex of your child for a long time.
♥ "We from father you highly love, you our a son"
The key word here is “ours.” It helps if you have a tendency for children to over-pull, retract and divide.
♥ "You such same as is yours dad",
"Is yours dad – most bestdad for you"
If you have a child conflict with the father, if he does not raise the baby or you are in a quarrel. But even for those parents who are together, the phrase is useful. If the mother does not accept the pope and does not allow him to actively deal with the child.
♥ "To me highly it's a pity".
The phrase is appropriate, if during the day you had a fight, there was no understanding, punishment, disrupted. Do not beg for forgiveness - it breaks the hierarchy. But to apologize - and say that you are very sorry, worth it.
♥ "I proud of you".
It helps especially when you are trying to make a child out of what he is not - and who he may never be. It helps for those children who are very different from others - special ones, for example.
♥ "I I love you".
Three magic words from everything. If this feeling is invested in them. That is, if you do not automatically pronounce some syllables and letters, but with all your heart you exhale a declaration of love.
How to choose phrases?
You can and should try different. And you will understand what is important and necessary for you and the child now. For example, by myself I notice that after that phrase, which is very important today for me, a deep exhalation takes place - by itself. Something is relaxing inside.
Same with the baby. When it is important for him to hear something now, for example, that you are proud of him, he exhales and relaxes. Just watch. Sometimes such signs are not immediately noticeable, sometimes they are not so bright. But the criterion is usually the same - some kind of relaxation.
To cast magic phrases you need to tune. You can not, as I said, do it mechanically. It is important to approach the process with the soul, not on the run. Like, now I will repeat three minutes on a piece of paper, and everything will be fine. The most difficult work going on inside. For words to be magical, their magic needs to be charged. And the charge that our children need is in our heart.
Sometimes, in order to say such simple words, you first need to say something similar to your parents (in your heart). I know girls who, during the first sessions, sobbed over the sleeping baby. From its own childish pain. But magic is magic because it cures. And including our, maternal, hearts.
Session should not be long. It's only three to five minutes. But very emotional five minutes. It is important to do this regularly and a little bit. In small steps. And do not try to whisper three hours of love once a week. We eat every day several times, and do not do it only on Sunday, right?
And besides, do not forget to say such phrases and in the afternoon, between cases, without any reason. Hug them just like that if you walked past. Smack the nape that sits next to each other.This is what children will remember for a lifetime. And most likely, that is what they will remember.
Do not underestimate the power of words of the mother. In order to recognize this, remember which words of your mother you remember now, after thirty, forty years. And which of them were important to you.
This magic is always available to you, not worth the money, it does not need anything special. Just wait for your baby to sniff sweetly - and whisper something important in his ear.
"I love you. I'm proud of you. You are the best son for me and my dad. "
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